Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
