im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
