Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize