they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
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Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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