Already got asked if we're dating
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
