maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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