Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
