I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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