Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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