Define "chronic" masturbator.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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