Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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