wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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