I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
