I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize