Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
