Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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