You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
