i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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