Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she told me i tasted like america
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
