i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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