I seem to have left my pride at pride
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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