Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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