It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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