I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
