'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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