I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize