Ambien. No doubt about it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.