things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?