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• (415): View more from California

  Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.

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  These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

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• (562): View more from California

  My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

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  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..

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• (415): View more from California

  I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I have so many feelings about this burrito

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?

  (945): View more from

  dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual

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