Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna have a badass scar

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  (248): I'm gonna have a badass scar http://tfl.nu/vp2m
  Replies (3) Good night (1602) Bad night (583)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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  (214): I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band http://tfl.nu/l50n
  Replies (11) Good night (616) Bad night (1408)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

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  (712): I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up. http://tfl.nu/k85m
  Replies (14) Good night (4403) Bad night (1330)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What? You're not speaking real words.

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  (423): I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me (617): What? You're not speaking real words. http://tfl.nu/o2go
  Replies (30) Good night (955) Bad night (2645)
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  (916): View more from California

  We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.

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  (916): We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea. http://tfl.nu/qdx4
  Replies (8) Good night (639) Bad night (3209)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
  Replies (13) Good night (4247) Bad night (838)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.

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  (484): You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy. http://tfl.nu/h40g
  Replies (7) Good night (5886) Bad night (807)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier

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  (918): Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier http://tfl.nu/54o9
  Replies (5) Good night (2451) Bad night (827)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.

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  (717): Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated. http://tfl.nu/4rw5
  Replies (7) Good night (910) Bad night (1843)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

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  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (565)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex

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  (757): You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex http://tfl.nu/b8jn
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (456)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"

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  (608): I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!" http://tfl.nu/mxo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1147) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?

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  (918): He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS? http://tfl.nu/pnaa
  Replies (6) Good night (1018) Bad night (463)
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  (408): View more from California

  My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.

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  (408): My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside. http://tfl.nu/vhza
  Replies (10) Good night (1200) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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  (775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (366)

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