Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??

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  (805): why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego?? http://tfl.nu/9r13
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.

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  (254): Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes. http://tfl.nu/elqh
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  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.

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  (908): Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got. http://tfl.nu/yeqj
  Replies (12) Good night (1179) Bad night (3951) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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  (813): either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand. http://tfl.nu/9289
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added

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  (416): today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added http://tfl.nu/jtyi
  Replies (13) Good night (4966) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics

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  (509): I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics http://tfl.nu/1cmu
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast

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  (609): i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast http://tfl.nu/q9sr
  Replies (26) Good night (1050) Bad night (7427) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

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  (503): And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container.... http://tfl.nu/xfht
  Replies (16) Good night (1490) Bad night (3198) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children

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  (303): My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children http://tfl.nu/bm0p
  Replies (17) Good night (2821) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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  (484): Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved. http://tfl.nu/qswh
  Replies (7) Good night (3726) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

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  (425): well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now.. http://tfl.nu/77ss
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  (315): View more from New York

  yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

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  (315): yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms... http://tfl.nu/res2
  Replies (13) Good night (1868) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302

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  (828): No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry (828): Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302 http://tfl.nu/twph
  Replies (12) Good night (2691) Bad night (667)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked

  (539): View more from

  All of it

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  (727): What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked (539): All of it http://tfl.nu/fe2w
  Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (274)

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