She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.