Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?

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(202): Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything? http://tfl.nu/mm5c

Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (955)
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(845): View more from New York

I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing

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(845): I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing http://tfl.nu/4411

Replies (24) Good night (5451) Bad night (1340)
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(623): View more from Arizona

listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.

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(623): listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville. (202): Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am. http://tfl.nu/fp1i

Replies (19) Good night (5619) Bad night (1115)
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(224): View more from Illinois

She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.

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(224): She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand. http://tfl.nu/cnkx

Replies (25) Good night (6725) Bad night (759)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

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(484): I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar http://tfl.nu/nsmi

Replies (20) Good night (1554) Bad night (6045)
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(801): View more from Utah

we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious

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(801): we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious http://tfl.nu/ejqb

Replies (15) Good night (3956) Bad night (1668)
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(806): View more from Texas

He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

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(806): He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out http://tfl.nu/voyg

Replies (4) Good night (2134) Bad night (949)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.

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(304): There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house. http://tfl.nu/pzrc

Replies (8) Good night (1663) Bad night (1541)
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(512): View more from Texas

Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.

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(512): Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there. http://tfl.nu/vwmy

Replies (3) Good night (1839) Bad night (699)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?

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(703): Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/wnf1

Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (725)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

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(843): Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes? http://tfl.nu/3eu0

Replies (8) Good night (614) Bad night (1501)
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(509): View more from Washington

While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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(509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj

Replies (4) Good night (1322) Bad night (455)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

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(701): Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one. http://tfl.nu/mish

Replies (8) Good night (736) Bad night (967)
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(404): View more from Georgia

PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!

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(404): PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!! http://tfl.nu/r6da

Replies (13) Good night (2045) Bad night (711)
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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(518): Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered. http://tfl.nu/cv8i

Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (768)

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