DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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