I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
