Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
