I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I AM VODKA MAN
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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