Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

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(514): View more from Quebec

What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him

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(912): View more from Georgia

I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her

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(254): View more from Texas

There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.

(512): View more from Texas

That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.

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(703): View more from Virginia

WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me

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