I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize