Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
