no, he came in my armpit
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
