I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am naked and annoyed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
