We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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