I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i think my cat just said my name.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
