Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's like iHOP with fire
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
