Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize