She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize