4 words: hood of his car
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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