I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
