I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
