If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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