All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
