Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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