I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
how can u be prego again
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
