hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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