we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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