If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
