Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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