It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
