I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
