Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize