whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
