this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
high people should be assigned attendants
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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