I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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