matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
another moral hangover. fuck.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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