Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
