Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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