yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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