do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
These tits shall not be calmed
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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